Sag

"Sagger Boy Kabuki Style" - which makes me want to
write a homothug love-suicide Kabuki.

To sag is to let draping, drooping, to let gravity take hold of your pants till it eases past your waist.


Don't ask me when, but one of my friends told me that sagging is a code about one's role in the bedroom:


If it goes pass a certain point, you are a bottom.


Kinda like the "hanky code" in the gay subculture that originated in the 70s.


Do I believe it? It's plausible, but I'm not going to rely on it, and just see it as a trend and well... advantage to see more eye-candy.


So thank you saggers, for letting nature take its course. I'll just be here savoring the moment. :>

Haven't Been Around.

On Friday I went to the Black GLBT Experiences event.

It was the second annual celebration of Black GLBT history held in the GLBT center in San Francisco.

I got there 40 minutes late and missed out on a Marlon Riggs short titled Anthem.  Apparently, Essex Hemphill is in it (damn traffic).

Driving up to San Francisco in the rain, on a friday, leaving at 4:30PM would take me 2 hours to get there.

I felt out of place, being the only Asian male there.

But the speakers rocked, didn't catch their name but one of them, Jewelle Gomez, who wrote some very juicy deep poetry that reaches for your soul and takes it for a ride.

Other than which I've been trying to get my career started and meeting with friends, and having writer's block to top, so if I haven't been making posts I apologize.

He Looks Uncomfortable

Who lounges on the edge of the bed with 2 pillows and bunched up sheets?

If you're here to lounge:

do it against the wall the long way.

Better yet, let me show you how.

Just ease your mind and body and I'll guide you.

Bumblebee

The bumblebee is a force to be reckon with.

Black + Yellow = caution.

Now you see me,

now you don't.

Do you want to continue to be hidden?

To not be heard or understood?

How are people going to understand you if you keep quiet?

Express yourself, I'm all ears.

Tell me your story, open your heart.

Silence = Death

TB

TB might be a term for Tuberculosis, but in Nigeria...


It's a term gay men describe each other, Top/Bottom.


If you are gay, you're a TB.


I was discussing this with my friend in Nigeria, telling him, "You know, TB in English means Tuberculosis, it's a bacterial infection in the lungs; a medical term."


He said, "Oh."


I told him that I'd rather call it men loving men, because that's really what it is.  It's beyond the bedroom, it's beyond what position you prefer yourself in (it wouldn't do versatiles any justice either).  You may be top, or bottom, or femme, or whatever, you're still a man and it's nothing to be ashamed of or set aside.


But hey, if it's a cool localized term and it's meant to make us feel welcomed.  Go ahead, call me a TB.  But you'll be surprised that I'll do more than that inside and outside of the bedroom.

Happy Valentine's Day

Life is Like a Box of Chocolates...

There's a guide and description for each piece,

and its up to you to decide which piece to eat.

Today, you're getting a whole box.

Every flavor, texture, and shape is there

all ready to melt in your mouth

and satisfy you.

And after you savor each piece,

swallowed every cream filling.

Don't forget to rinse!

Damn, where's MY box of chocolate---orgy?

Juice

My good thoughts of you:

fresh-squeezed brain juice.

A tall glass

full of nutrients for your soul.

Waking up next to you,

as soon as my eyes open

the juicer is on.

But if I'm alone,

I'll make a concentrate.

Keep it safely stored

got a nice pitcher full when you return.

Favors

Where to draw the line?


As much as I would like to help you, brother.
As much as I hate to see you being down.


There is a line where you need to stop and think if whatever trouble you're in, you're in because of your miscalculations.


If you keep asking for rides because you don't have any money for public transport, or all your friends are busy, then do YOURself a favor and start asking yourself why weren't you ready before you step out the door? When was the last time you've done favors for your friends?


I don't owe you anything, and I do favors because I care for you. But one day, that care jar will empty if you don't refill it with your care for me.


If you want me to rush over because it's an emergency, I would. But just like the boy who cried wolf, it better be an emergency.


And if you need help helping yourself think, need help being a better person, I'm here. 
I don't want to be the quick solution, especially if I care for you, I want you to think things right so you can use the panic button wisely.
Because who knows, I might need help in the future and I'll need a capable hand.

Joseph Beam Quote

Black men loving Black men is a call to action, an acknowledgement of responsibility. We take care of our own kind when the night grows cold and silent. These days the nights are cold-blooded and the silence echoes with complicity.

-Joseph Beam "Brother to Brother: Words from the Heart"

I am not the center in my circle of black gay friends.

I encourage them to care for and nurture each other.

Because there is not enough support between black gay men. 

Because when one is down, he should know who and where to run to: someone familiar, someone that he can call his brother from his heart.

Because we are all a part of the community and to be shunned away is one of the biggest abominations that could happen.

Because when one falls, we all fall harder.

I want to serve as a reminder, a friendly nudge.

Next time you roll yours eyes or turn your head away from a brother, ask yourself, do you AND do WE deserve to be treated this way?

Last Time I Got Tested

The last time I got tested, I felt alienated.

HIV+ (left) and HIV- (right) test results.

The time before that, was late 2008.
I was a college student, and the health clinic on campus was the location I went to get tested.
They were caring, understanding, and they did the whole shebang (physical examination, tested my blood and urine, swabbed  my dick, ass, and mouth) and tested me for all the STDs imaginable.


Now I've graduated, the school's clinic doesn't accept me anymore because I'm not enrolled. 
I was stuck, I was lost.
I looked up on Google for the nearest "free HIV testing", and looked up a local clinic, Planned Parenthood, and got tested there.


It wasn't my world. There were no pamphlets for me, there were children, mothers, young straight couples. I was singled out, alone.
The nurse who first brought me in was kind and full of smiles, we went through the questionnaire without me feeling awkward.
But then I had to wait, because I didn't feel like urinating. And the next nurse who took me was older, and wasn't as welcoming as the previous. She also seemed impatient. It almost seem like she doesn't care either way if I've caught something or not. If it was tedious to service me.


I was put to get tested for Chlamydia and Syphilis and also HIV, but this new, older nurse forgot, or didn't proceed to test me for HIV. I had to ask her if I was getting tested for it and I felt obliged to really thank her for her patience and having to put up with me.


Overall, it was a weird experience to me. I felt awkward for having get tested at a Planned Parenthood.
In the future I'm just going to drive to San Francisco and get tested there, around people who understands me and welcomes me.

Get Tested

(I didn't get around to post yesterday, I apologize)

Today I will be marching.

Feb. 7th is National Black HIV/AIDS Awareness Day.

I'm marching because not only I care, I want you to care about yourself.

I actually have to head out the door right now and drive 50 minutes to to San Francisco to get there at 5PM. But what I want to say is:

Know your status,

so you can live the now.

Play it sexy, play it safe,

so you can keep on playing.

Music

"Global Village" by Just.Luc http://www.flickr.com/photos/9619972@N08/

Music is an animal.

Every song is a beast.

Its BPM the heart-rate,

its instruments the organs.

Its rhythm the bloodstream,

its genre the soul.

Some beasts can be tamed,

some controls you.

Some lets you ride them,

some kicks you off.

Which are your beasts?

Unleash them for me.

Let's dance together,

our sweat will be their feast.

Touch Me

Place your hand against mine.

Let our print-leaving palms unite.

As I bend my fingers forward,

do the same, let our hands lock.

Because I'm not letting go.

The part on my body that is constantly

touching, gripping, holding.

I want it to touch yours.

I want my prints on yours. 

And together we will create history.

What's Yo Problem?

Haruki has no patience for you.

Next time someone's acting up,
or starts ticking you off.

Instead of asking "What's yo problem?"
try asking "What's yo story?"

"Are you alright?"

Until then, don't assume that you're the righteous party.

That's where ignorance comes from.

For they have as much the right to ignore you as you do.

Cool Down

Playing it cool doesn't mean shunning people away.


It means being the most chill, drama-free person in the room.


When drama comes your way, you handle it, hold it in your palms, and douse the flames down with your coolness.


All it takes is a clear conscious mind, and the respect and love the way you want to be treated.

Be like the wind: flow, cleanse, refresh, rinse and repeat.

Cosplay

Ignorance puts words in other people's mouths.

Cosplaying is the act of dressing up as an anime or video game character.

Sometimes just a character in general, fictional or non-fictional.

There is a lot of ignorance in the anime fan subculture.  Blacks are forced to accept their differences in order to enjoy being a part of the fandom.

They are rarely treated as viable members; the beautiful white american female always winning competitions.

Hear me out.

There's no difference between a "Black" Link and a "White" Link.

The only difference is the person who's playing them.

This is a Black anime fan playing the role of Link.

If this cosplayer truly wants to play the role of "Black Link", he would've added something stereotypical to the costume.

See it as a whole, see it in wider lens: the skin color, the body mass, the race, the gender, is NOT a part of the costume.

In other news: Damn, he looks fineeeeee.